should all women get married?
Philosophy · asked by user [] · 2007-08-03 · 29 answers
according to vedic culture women need protection and I agree with that but when most of us (Im talking about the West), have grown up in families with divorced parents as the best or similar situations our roll may be not so clear and the result can be worse than remaining single. Of course its a great opportunity for purification but I wish I had such pure consciousness.
Choosing the right person is difficult also. I heard both must have same age, beauty and guna and that its proper to consult astrology. Do devotees follow this things? and who has to choose, the boy, the girl, the parents (I hope not!!!), the temple president, the Guru...? How to apply vedic culture to this age?
Maybe devotees need to be trained in this aspect, both men and women, before assuming such a big responsibility. what do you think? could you give some practical guidance about both wife and husband duties?
Choosing the right person is difficult also. I heard both must have same age, beauty and guna and that its proper to consult astrology. Do devotees follow this things? and who has to choose, the boy, the girl, the parents (I hope not!!!), the temple president, the Guru...? How to apply vedic culture to this age?
Maybe devotees need to be trained in this aspect, both men and women, before assuming such a big responsibility. what do you think? could you give some practical guidance about both wife and husband duties?
user [78] · 2007-08-03
I have grown up with divorced parents. But I still think that women need protection and support from someone who is close to them. I am not saying that a woman cant live without a man. But you do need some certain things, like support.user [72] · 2007-08-03
support and kali yuga... I dont know...user [78] · 2007-08-03
how about support in Kali Yuga?user [12] · 2007-08-03
Prabhupada: Woman should not divert her attention to anyone else except her husband. That will keep her pure. That is the Vedic culture. A womans beauty is how much shes devoted to her husband. That is beauty, not personal beauty. One who is ugly, his beauty is his knowledge. Similarly,womans beauty is how much shes devoted to her husband. One bird is black just like a crow but her voice is so sweet. The more a woman is
devoted to her husband, shes beautiful. That is Vedic culture.
user [96] · 2007-08-03
I was asking about protection. I dont understand why you are trying to say with this Prabhu... can you explain yourself?user [38] · 2007-08-03
This can give you some insight: http://www.veda.harekrsna.cz/library/Partner.zipuser [96] · 2007-08-03
thank you so much VEDA Prabhu, the articles are very interesting and helpful. I advice others to read them:)user [39] · 2007-08-03
I was about to post links to the same documents that VEDA has provided, good thing Id checked his first :) There is a Grihastha Manual here http://www.radhagopinath.com/downloads.php I gave a general link as devotees might find more interesting information there.
user [69] · 2007-08-04
This is a good example of "naimittika" or temporary dharma. In general, women are happiest and best situated when they are in a good marriage. However, there are always exceptions to this rule and I would never say "ALL women MUST get married." There are certainly situations when it is better for a woman not to marry, such as in the practice of ascetic Vaishnavism (brahmacarini life), inability to find a qualified husband, career and financial considerations, old age, etc.-Amara
user [71] · 2007-08-06
In general, a tulip tree gives plenty of beautiful flowers in spring. Exceptionally, a single or a few flowers are also detected in autumn. They are not less beautiful than the previous ones.user [72] · 2007-08-06
Illicit blue, very poetic but what do you mean with that?user [71] · 2007-08-07
Well euh... in this connection we could say that most women (flowers) are best situated and happy within marriage (generally bloom in spring) but in exceptional cases a woman can also become happy and nicely situated without getting married (that one flower which blooms in autumn). One scenario is more common than the other one but both are equally good.Or another one...
Generally, women dont become warriors or monks (nuns), but if they do, they not necessarily loose their feminine qualities compared to the females who get children and stay at home.
user [78] · 2007-08-07
Cool :Duser [72] · 2007-08-07
very nice Illicit, very nice :)user [168] · 2007-09-09
yes all women should get married.a woman should not be unprotected and independent.they become poluteduser [144] · 2007-09-12
Yes and where in the world would a lady actually find a good decent husband in ISKCON?( No offense to the good men in ISKCON who are good and decent husbands). Ive witnessed the marriages of my personal friends and it is very sad. They all seemed to end up with wife beaters, alcoholic/drug abusers and other losers who refused to send financial support to their own children after the divorce!!!!!!user [12] · 2007-09-12
Do you think the percentage of unqualified men is more in ISKCON than outside? Do you mean ISKCON congregation or full time? It is quite unfortunate that devotees dont become qualified to be proper grhastas even after years of brahmachari training. Is it better brahmachari training to go outside and hold a job then to live and serve in a temple?user [144] · 2007-09-17
No I do not think that ISKCON has more unqualified men than outside. I just worry that a young lady might feel pressured to get married to the wrong man just so she can be part of the" respectable" ISKCON society.user [176] · 2007-09-20
yes, to a nice devotee of Sri Sri Radha-Krishnauser [191] · 2007-10-10
Yes mother, All women should be married. What Veda prabhu sent you is good. And what Krsna das said is also correct according to Srila Prabhupada who is the ultimate decision maker for us. Let us not forget this. Usually the parents choose from an early age in the childs life. They have close friends who are like-minded therefore, they have trust in that their children will also posses their good qualities and therefore become good match. Astrology does play a role in the choosing. If these steps are out of your realm, than you should consult with someone you trust and they will help you in making the right decision. I hope this was of some service to you. Hare Krsna!user [79] · 2007-10-11
What should happen to a woman who was given away in marriage to an unqualified man at the tender age of twelve and then nine years later dumped by him? (This happened not too long ago in ISKCON.)user [38] · 2007-10-11
Traditionally such woman returned under the care of her father/family. But if a proper matchmaking astrology was done such cases were rare, just as a remarriage. http://www.veda.harekrsna.cz/encyclopedia/divorce.htmuser [79] · 2007-10-11
...such woman...Sounds so third class citizen.
user [191] · 2007-10-11
At such a young age, she should sincerely pray to Prabhupada and Krsna for a good husband. She should not remain single if she has not returned to the care of her father. If she does this with all her heart, Krsna will certainly fulfill her desire. Your servant, Priyauser [79] · 2007-10-11
But what if she deeply distrusts most malebodied entities (because of severe abuse in her past marriage) and just finds nearly impossible to find anyone? (Her father passed away recently.) She wants to just live her life in peace and service to Krishna whilst being a valuable part of society even if single and unmarried. Would that be so impossible?user [191] · 2007-10-11
This is a most unfortunate case mother. Her distrust is duly noted and quite understandable. Before I can give you an honest answer, please tell me if your friend is living in the temple. Priyauser [79] · 2007-10-11
She lives in a community of devotees. She does fulltime service for the temple but also has a small source of income from the "outside".user [191] · 2007-10-11
Under the circumstances, if she feels that she is strong enough to pull it off, than by all means do so. At this point the subject matter I believe has fallen into the category of time and circumstance, it is no longer a cut and dry topic. Your description makes her appear very strong in her Krsna consciousness. This is good. She will need to be strong. And if I may, suggest that she simply take shelter of Srila Prabhupada. If she can maintain her Krsna consciousness in this way, than I think it is OK. Surely she can trust Prabhupada. If it is not her desire to marry due to distrust, than trust in Prabhupada and carry on. Sincerely, Priyauser [191] · 2007-10-11
In addition, please tell your friend not to be discouraged by others regarding this matter. Krsna will act according to what is in her heart of hearts, and thus protect her accordingly. Therefore, it is not so impossible. Krsna can make the impossible possible. Remain sincere in your Krsna consciousness and all will be good. Your friend already trusts in Krsna, she just needed some confirmation regarding it. Thats all. "Is it not?" Your servant, Priya