Pariprashnena — Q&A Archive

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to weep when affliction comes to drop a silent tear, or to wet the pillow with tears, and a time to laugh when God turns the captivity; not a foolish giggle, or an empty joke. It is disgusting in a man; such laughing is sin. When shall a child of God laugh? When the Lord hears his prayer, as the Psalmist says, " Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them. The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad" (Ps. 126:2,3). He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him (Ps. 126:6)"

Heres my attempt at parody and satire. Hope you get a laugh out of it:

http://www.harekrsna.com/sun/editorials/03-10/editorials5817.htm

Rules Of The Road, Indian Style
Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory
potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is
frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly
exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you
are on the roads, extremely dangerous. Most Indian
road users observe a version of the Highway Code based
on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road
are published for the first time in English:

ARTICLE I:
The assumption of immortality is required of all road
users.

ARTICLE II:
Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a
strict caste system. The following precedence must be
accorded at all times. In descending order, give way
to:
Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars,
camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts,
private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws,
pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles
(goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles
(passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.

ARTICLE III:
All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance
with the maxim: to slow is to falter, to brake is to
fail, to stop is defeat. This is the Indian drivers
mantra.

ARTICLE IV:
Use of horn (also known as the sonic fender or aural
amulet):
Cars (IV,1,a-c):
Short blasts (urgent) indicate supremacy, IE in
clearing dogs, rickshaws and pedestrians from path.
Long blasts (desperate) denote supplication, IE to
oncoming truck: "I am going too fast to stop, so
unless you slow down we shall both die". In extreme
cases this may be accompanied by flashing of
headlights (frantic). Single blast (casual) means: "I
have seen someone out of Indias 870 million whom I
recognise", "There is a bird in the road (which at
this speed could go through my windscreen)" or "I have
not blown my horn for several minutes."
Trucks and buses (IV,2,a):
All horn signals have the same meaning, viz: "I have
an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have
no intention of stopping, even if I could." This
signal may be emphasised by the use of headlamps.
Article IV remains subject to the provision of Order
of Precedence in Article II above.

ARTICLE V:
All manoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action shall
be left until the last possible moment.

ARTICLE VI:
In the absence of seat belts (which there is), car
occupants shall wear garlands of marigolds. These
should be kept fastened at all times.

ARTICLE VII:
Rights of way:
Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So
has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the
middle.
Lane discipline (VII,1):
All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of
direction of travel shall occupy the centre of the
road.

ARTICLE VIII:
Roundabouts: India has no roundabouts. Apparent
traffic islands in the middle of crossroads have no
traffic management function. Any other impression
should be ignored.

ARTICLE IX:
Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is
required to overtake every other moving vehicle,
irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you.
Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable
conditions, such as in the face of oncoming traffic,
on blind bends, at junctions and in the middle of
villages/city centres. No more than two inches should
be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are
passing -- and one inch in the case of bicycles or
pedestrians.

ARTICLE X:
Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash.

ARTICLE XI:
Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in
India has reverse gear.
-- Courtesy of http://rajiv.com

duplicate post... see:
http://www.pariprashnena.com/discussion/654/vedic-jokes-lets-have-some-fun