Pariprashnena — Q&A Archive

Did you hear about the pujari with the "altar" ego?

Did you know that Lord Brahma was born in a "navel" hospital?"

An important verse from the Miscellania Purana that goes:

Dhotinam Khadinam Sarire
Japa Mala Tilaka tu Mandira
Kum Kum ca Kurta Papadam
Subji Gulabjaman Rasgula Mam

1. El brahmacari Argentino Rupa das sal'eda del templo cuando alguien ech'f3 un balde de agua desde el techo, encima de 'e9l. Luego, en la calle, un carro pas'f3 por su lado y pisando un charco le ech'f3 otra vez agua. Finalmente, cuando regres'f3 al templo a trav'e9s de un parque, el sistema de riego se inici'f3 y lo moj'f3 de nuevo completamente.

El pasatiempo se llama: Mojan a Rupa.

2. El brahmacari Rupa queria casarse con una brahmacarini del ashram, Kamala devi dasi. Despues de asociarse con ella se d'edo cuenta que ella ten'eda deseos por una casa grande, un carro Mercedes-Benz, quer'eda muchos ni'f1os, y esperaba unos saris hasta de oro.

Entonces Rupa decidi'f3 no casarse con ella. Cuando sus amigos le preguntaba: "Muchacho, que te pasa - es tan bella! Porque no te casaste con ella?" Rupa les contest'f3: "Bueno, taba cara kamala"

Ive heard many Christian jokes changed into ISKCON ones. But this one is original and classic:

One devotee asks another: "How many devotees does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
"Sorry, thats not my service, Prabhu."

a sadhu was meditating in the jungle when a hungry tiger approached him.
the scared baba prayed to the Lord, "please, make this beast a devotee"
next moment, you could hear the tiger say "sarira avidya jal..."

lol mishra!!!

Veda you need a section on your site with jokes!

a christian joke btw:

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says,
"Okay, Mrs. Jones, whats the problem?"
The mother says, "Its my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, shes putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says,
"Well, I dont know how to tell you this, but your Debbie is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She cant be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie?"
Debbie says, "No mother! Ive never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says,
"Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, its just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. Ill be darned if Im going to miss it this time!"

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "Ill give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, thats not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "Im sorry, Hamish, thats not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "Thats absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and Ill give you the $20."

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"

clever boy...hehe

[img]http://www.hknet.org.nz/protein.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.hknet.org.nz/hook_uses_wrong_hand.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.hknet.org.nz/ATT000191.jpg[/img]

the fun starts at min 18
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2932828682381191751

Krishna is complaining to Rukmini : "I am sick and tired of devotees constantly praying to give them more money!" Rukmini: "Indeed, what do they do with so much money?" Krishna: "No idea. Ive never given them any..."

Could you tell me, how do I add a picture here?

for pictures:
http://www.bbcode.org/tags.php

for video:
http://www.bbcode.org/extratags.php

then select BBCode below

If you want to see something funny and enlightening, take a look at Kurma (the chef) prabhus blog entry today, "Cards and Letters", that includes three cartoons.

source: http://www.kurma.net/vegetarianism/index.html
[p]
[img]http://www.kurma.net/vegetarianism/images/meatrix_poster.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.kurma.net/images/HappyThanksGivingTurkeys.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.kurma.net/vegetarianism/images/saddaynew.jpg[/img]

I have attached the code used for the images in a text file in case you want to see how it goes :)

Sorry mishra, Im still trying to find out how to get a picture from My Pictures folder on my computer, to here. Could you give me the steps please?
El techno dumbo

the picture has to be on the internet to be linked. You can try free services to put your picks up like http://flickr.com or http://photobucket.com they are easy to manage.
Then you link the url or internet address of your photo(s) here and voila.

Pope and the Jewish Community of Rome Debate

About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate. The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe, who spent his life sweeping up after people, to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the rules of debate. Not being used to saying very much, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, '93I give up. This man is too good. The Jews win.'94

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, '93First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger, to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?'94

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible. '93What happened?'94 they asked.'94 Well,'94 said Moishe, '93First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here.'94 '93And then?'94 asked a woman. '93I don'92t know,'94 said Moishe. '93He took out his lunch and I took out mine.'94

once, when Radharani was looking through her jewel box, KRSNA asked her for a jewel. she found a broken pearl in the corner and gave it to Him, saying "this is perfectly good for you for breaking our hearts all the time". KRSNA was elated and ran to the banks of Yamuna to plant it. He hauled water to the spot where He planted the pearl and all the gopis and cowherd boys showed up and asked what He was doing. "Im planting a pearl tree" KRSNA said.
Radharani laughed and said, "Silly Boy, pearls dont grow on trees." and as the day ended, everyone went home and went to sleep.

the next morning, when they woke, KRSNA was out harvesting all sorts of multi-colored pearls from the glorious pearl tree that had grown there. on seeing this, all the gopis ran home, got their jewelry boxes and brought them to the banks of Yamuna when they feverishly began burying everything they had in the sand. at that time, KRSNA returned and asked what everyone was doing. each told that they were growing pearls and other valuable gems by planting them in the river bed. KRSNA said, "silly girls, pearls dont grow on trees".
the next morning, the banks were overgrown with thistles.

This is the opening story of Mukta carita by Raghunatha das Gosvami.

So have you all heard about Gandhi?

He walked around barefoot, which gave him some impressive callouses. Also, he had a relatively strange diet which made him frail and left him with bad breath sometimes. So you know what that made him?

...A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

How many devotees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to drop out of university. that ones mean.

> How many devotees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Ive heard this with the a different punchline:

"None. Its not my service, prabhu."

Deena, see above.

In the temples and monasteries, gatherings of

unnecessary,

rejected,

lazy fellows

should be strictly disallowed. The temples and monasteries should be used exclusively by devotees !!!

who are serious ....

Sb 7.13.8 (Please take is seriously).

[img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3639/3397745855_b7cebce507_o.jpg[/img]

a simple definition

Once the bhakta was praying very vibrantly to Lord Sri Krsna, Bhagavan.

Please, My Lord Krsna, please give me this lot of money that i need but immediately My Lord, Please please. I need this lot of money but please My Lord, give me that immediately as it is very ugently, please help me out... So while the devotee was praying, you all already know that how much life is so huge and looong live, Lord Brahma in the heavenly abode and exactly like that, for the life itself here is nothing but a lightning in the sky, that compared with the enternal life Lord Sri Krsna gets in Goloka Vrindavana.... So, in comparison to that, Lord Sri Krsna replyed to the Bhakta:

"Ok so do you know what we are going to do now? He said, can you just wait a little bit for a moment please.. ? Ok"

Tectonic plates shift. After many millions of years of ardent meditation, two impersonalist yogis are now facing eachother, though their transcendentally inclined vision is slightly blurred from the aeons of settling dust and lice-ridden scruffy hair. Angried by the competition, each picks up a rock and has a go at the other. As ones skull is softer than the others, one yogi prevails, exclaiming "I am the impersonalist!"
Heres to another millions of years!